The first decade of this new century, they were the years of him and me. Our story as a couple, seperate branches intertwining and looping together, forging what we both thought would be a lifetime together. That particular story ended yesterday.
For me, anyway. I can only speak for me.
The first spring together, he broke my foot. I, in full adolescent genius, gave him a piggyback ride down a not-so-very-steep hill. And tripped. At least the remaining knobby scar serves as a funny reminder of what first connected us.
The death of us occurred a year ago and as people around me cheered the new year in a few nights ago, I felt somewhat numb. A new decade. Am I really ready for this?
I think so. 2009 is complete. A year of survival and healing and growth. So much growth. My branch plummeted forward, upward, all around. I look back, with an odd mixture of sadness and relief that his did not join mine on this particular part of the life journey, knowing that it took a sharp turn away from mine. I can no longer see his.
As it should be, I suppose.
Although this winter has only just begun, I find myself looking forward to newness that will come with spring. On the good days, the great ones, I feel ready to burst. Blooming in the happiness and confidence I have found in myself this past year.
There are the overwhelming moments, the times when I still feel like a complete stranger to myself. But then there are such pure moments of peace.
2010 will be another difficult year of this transition, that I know. But I know it will also be a magical one. How can it not? With this one in the mix:
Liza, your words are pure 'wow'.
And your journey simply amazes me.
Thank you for sharing it here. :)
Posted by: Bahiehk | February 27, 2010 at 07:46 PM
Beautiful words, beautiful photos
Posted by: Beth | February 28, 2010 at 09:07 AM