Lizabean

a big softie

smooch, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

Today was a rather exhausting end to a very tiring week but I must admit, I got a few good laughs in. I've been having some behavioral issues with my daily reading group lately and decided that it was time -yet again- to have a group discussion about classroom rules. This time I decided that they were going to create the rules and vote on them. The consultation went really well and I'm really excited about using this as a method of teaching them some real-life problem solving strategies.

At one point we were discussing the following student suggested rule: "No yelling". My co-teacher stated that teachers would have to follow these rules too and I piped up and said, "yes, remember when I yelled at you all? That would be a good rule for me to follow as well!" My students looked at me with mouths gaped open and all responded, "You have never yelled at us!" (I did, this one time, but I guess I'm not all that scary-- BIG surprise). Then one student looked at me, wagged his finger and stated, "Ms. F., you're soft.........too soft".

All I could do was laugh. And he is so right. I suck at behavioral management. And you've got to be pretty bad to have your students point it out.

Well, two weeks off until I have to work on being more stern, consistent, enforcing, yada yada blah blah blah. Teaching's hard, but man is it an excellent source of personal growth!

joy all around

joy, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

Yahoo- only three more work days! Nothing new to report. I'm pretty one-track minded at the moment: SURVIVAL.

Keep on moving

tracks, again, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

7 more work days and then a break. I think I can make it. Oh, the path I have chosen. Perhaps another fork in the road will come soon? I guess I'll have to create it!

Inner Viking

, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

This picture really isn't appropriate for this post but oh well!

My heart just feels a little bit broken today. Or maybe "a lot a bit". I read stories about parents who give their babies vodka, and I can't help but feel furious about the unfairness of it all. I'm sure there's something unhealthy about that reaction but I really don't care at the moment. I'm Angry. Frustrated. Disappointed.

I mean. AAAAHHHHHHH.

(My mom's big life lesson to me, even still, is to stop feeling sorry for myself. I believe I fight against that urge on a daily basis but today I'm taking the day off).

This just sucks. And isn't fair. And if I made the rules then all nurturing people in the world would get to have babies. Yeah, I know this whole experience will help me grow, if I actively let it. But I don't want to be more patient, I don't want to be more detached, I don't want to be more optimistic. Well, okay, yes, I do want those things. But darn it all, I just want to have a baby.

Grrrrr. Arrrrg.

I really want to smash something. It's the inner Viking in me.

Winter's beginning

Ice fingers, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

I have been dreading winter since the last bitterly cold day we had in April. Or was it May? But I have to admit, at the moment I'm enjoying the snowy change to my surroundings. The air has that cold, clean smell that is unique to freshly fallen snow.

I cannot say I was too thrilled to have to walk twenty minutes to my car and repark it due to the "emergency snow plow" raids that have been going on all weekend. I did have to laugh at myself as fell flat on my face on an icy snow bank as I left my newly parked car -directly in front of a slow moving vehicle packed with people - of course!

I spent another twenty minutes on a raid of my own. At the nearby Walgreens in search of some hot cocoa. I found it and immensely enjoyed pouring two packets of that sugary chocolate scrumptiousness into my mug. MMmmm.

Do I really have to go into work tomorrow?

Changes

, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

I am not sure when I'll actually get to post this entry. It all depends on when Katie and Nathan will go public with their little summer surprise, baby Bishop. Katie told me over the phone before she told the entire family (it's really weird to be writing this before it actually happens). I think she knew it would be better for me to take it in before she told everyone. I immediately began to cry tears of joy when she told me. I literally began jumping up and down and screaming, "Katie and Nathan are having a baby!!" to Brent, who was taking a shower. So I was bawling and screaming and had never felt so light and giddy. I don't think it was the reaction Katie expected. Truth be told, I was surprised by my reaction. It's so difficult to hear about other people's pregnancies but I guess it really helps when the baby coming is a future neice or nephew.

What was rather funny/sad about me screaming and crying at Brent in the shower is that he misunderstood me and thought I was acting so crazy because it was me who was pregnant. He thought I was screaming, "We're having a baby!" So sorry Katie and Nathan, Brent was slightly disappointed when he realized the miscommunication. But we are both all jumpy and excited now.

I told Brent, "God really does answer prayers in mysterious ways." This new little life may not be my own son or daughter, but the love I feel for this baby is very alive and kicking. And I can't wait to share it with him or her.

First snow on the 1st

, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

Well, in true form, my school district did NOT close today. Brent's did, which allowed him to stay cozied up in our little apartment. (Only after spending three hours on the road to and from his school). Good thing he got the rest of the day to recuperate from the horrible mess of driving in that winter storm!

I have 94 pictures from last weekend that I want to go through, but this week has been busy, busy. I'm hoping for some relax'n and creat'n time this weekend. Be on the look out for some Thanksgiving fun pics :)