Lizabean

News worthy?

Good news:  I rediscovered my joy of working with wee ones....

Bad news: .....after being thrown into therapy sessions working with adults.

Good news (money-wise, anyway):  After much begging from crazy boss, Brent decided to stick with horrible work situation throughout the summer and got the ideal work schedule (M,T, Th, F; 3:00 to 11:00)...

Bad news: ...until crazy boss decided that the new hire gets everyone else's hours and Brent is down to two shifts a week after said boss promised him 32 hours a week.

Sorta good news:  I am considering finding evening babysitting jobs in order to be able to eat and pay rent.

Funny news: With an official Master's degree in speech language pathology, I will be returning to the work (and pay) I once did as a twelve year old...  I do believe my future employers are getting quite a deal!

Good news:  It's been the talk of the patients on the 7th floor that someone down south just caught a 126 lb catfish.  Can you imagine?

Bad news: It has also been talk that body parts have been found up north on US 55.

Good news:  Tomorrow is Friday.

Even better news:  I have Memorial Day off.

The Ugly, The Beautiful

Do you ever go through days where you just feel ugly?  And I don't mean just physically.  I mean through and through, physical, spiritual, mental, etc... UGLY.  That was me this week.  My face was too plain, my attitude poor, my body fat, my soul a mirror splattered in grime and mold.

But today I went canoeing/kayaking and the ugly factor lifted. 

It's hard to pinpoint the exact cause of this shift in perspective.  Was it the laughter with friends?  The sunkissed cheeks?  The exercise?  Appreciation of nature?  Yummy nuts and plenty of water?

As I stumble and mumble and grumble through this path toward happy somethingness, the search leads me to see the interconnectiveness that everything plays on everything else. 

Anxiety Approacheth...yet againeth

Suzanne asked me today what Brent and I are planning to do after I finish my final clinical placement this fall.  I told her, "oh,uh....oh, we just don't know".  And henceforth, I began to internally freak out.  Brent has since had to calm me down at a restaurant and wipe my tears during a cry session at home. 

Truth be told, I do not like city (too many people), I do not like suburb (too many something oppressive), I do not like country (too many stinky cows) and I do not like Evanston apartment prices.  We are still planning on moving to Chicago this fall; we just don't know how long we will be there.

When considering where to eventually end up with an actual job, all sounds scary or suffocating or both.

There is the consideration of moving to Richmond area.  My heart breaks at the thought of moving that far from my side of the family and I am humbled by the sacrifice Brent and his family have made for me.  Lately, I have been challenging myself to be more courageous -in preparation of the possibility of this big move.  When these little courageous baby steps have involved taking the el alone, switching lines instead of sticking with the longer but already travelled route, and spending $2.25 on a chilled Starbuck's mocha frappichino, you know I have a long way to go. 

But I'm trying....

High Five

My recent days have consisted of many hours spent sitting in coffee shops, sipping on tea or coffee, and attempting to learn all about cleft lip and palate and speech options after laryngeal cancer.  One of those is esophageal speech (a.k.a. burp speech).  I can explain the physiology, but don't ask me to perform- I can't burp on purpose to save my life.  I hear its like riding a bike.  Much practice required.

Update on this nearly done phenomenon:  I turned in a final report this morning.  High five for me- no more work in the University Clinic!

Field Trip!

A few weeks ago I went with some of the kiddies in my children's class (and their parents) to the Baha'i House of Worship in Wilmette.  It was a blast!  You can read more about it/ see more of it here.  (I apologize for the really big pics.  I'm pretty slow at digital photo basics.)

Blue Ridge Waterfall

Drama at Brent's work resulted in no vacation time off, again.  We'll have to wait until August before returning to Virginia's finest- mountians, beaches, and most importantly...family and friends. 

P.S.  Dangerboy- we are going to try our best to get Brent out there for your graduation.  I'll be stuck gagging people for 40 hours a week.  My apologies to you and my future clientele. 

FACE OFF

Final exams taken VERSUS Final exams yet to be taken

                        (2:2)

Date of final fight:  Thursday, May 12th

Time:  7:00 pm

Likely winner:  Lizabean

Judgements

This picture totally doesn't fit the theme of this post but anyways...

I work really hard at pushing away judgemental thoughts about people.  But sometimes, I just don't fight it:

These last couple of days have sharpened my awareness of the prejudices that still exist in today's society.  I spent an evening with a fun group of people... unfortunately, one person kept making very questionable assumptions/statements about people from various racial/ethnic groups.  I was shocked.  Did she really just say that?? 

How in the world do you combat such ignorance when there is so much defensiveness?  I guess if people hear, "That is so NOT cool", from a whole variety of people then maybe they'll start to get a clue.   

Do people really stereotype like that?  I imagine I must have lived a sheltered life NOT to come across this before.... 

Then there was the paper we (as in all of us TA's, because it was THAT bad) just graded in which the maddening frat boy actually used about two racial slurs per paragraph.  I suppose I've said too much even by writing that but I don't care.  It burns me up not to mention it. 

Brent informed me that someone recently told him, "Yeah, I'm racist.  I just don't like black people". 

Racism may not be what it used to be (completely written from an ignorant white person's perspective here!), but that doesn't mean it doesn't still exist.  And if someone ever says, "I'm not racist but....", they are completely deluding themselves.

Busy beelicious

I am  officially finished with taking classes and teaching them.  Now just one more set of final exams and I will be done.  Has that time really come? 

I said goodbye to my last client in the clinic and felt nothing.  I guess I was expecting to want to jump up and down with the excitement of being done.  No more minute-by-minute evaluations of how how clear my expectations were, how useful by feedback was, how appropriate my choice of activities was, etc...

I turned in my last research paper ever, EVER.  And it was awful, awful, awful.  A very poignant confirmation of why I will never, ever, ever get my PhD. 

So close.  I am so very close.  And then the "real" world begins...

Preemptive All Nighter

With an 18 page research paper due in two days and a presentation on it due tomorrow evening, I've decided to skip the annoying bodily need called sleep.  I really hope that the next time I'll EVER have to stay up all night again is years from now...perhaps when I have one of these: