He is gone this upcoming Saturday. He may be back in the fall but she will be with him. Is that gossip, should I keep that a secret? To me, it is just a fact of the matter. No one's business? Perhaps not. But here's the deal: I am primarily alone in this parenting gig.
And that scares the shit out of me.
---
Loneliness.
My heart has healed some. It is no longer him that I want specifically. Our relationship is over and my mind/heart have finally caught up with one another and have agreed with that sentiment.
But I miss the intimacy, the closeness, the familiarness... I miss being a "significant other".
More work, more healing, more growing, more time. Then I may be ready to search... more confident and much more aware of what it is I am looking for in a partner.
i admire your fervor and tenacity so much, Liza - every time i read one of your posts your inner strength just bowls me over; you are really, really amazing.
much love.
Posted by: anna | May 29, 2009 at 10:03 AM