Lizabean

Whoot!

Reflection 3.27.09, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

So I spent the majority of my free moments (and Liam's independent play time) this weekend working on my photography site. It's not finished but I am getting there. I'm even close enough to feel comfortable sharing.

Check it out:
http://irisbloom.squarespace.com/
Aaah, feels good.

Dear love,

"Bang and it's over", Canon EOS 20D, March 2009

I miss you.  There was a time when you looked at me and all I saw was love in those ocean-grey eyes of yours.  I know long ago I broke your heart.  I wish I had had the chance to help mend it.

We have hurt each other, and we are both deeply wounded.

But before I let us go entirely, you need to know that my love for you is timeless.  I will always hope for your happiness.  True happiness, my dear  friend.  The kind where there is peace in your heart.

"If you love someone, let them go..."

I have learned recently that there is no ownership in this these thing called a human relationship.  Hallmark-created love is superficial.  "Be mine"?  Be yourself.

Find yourself, my former lover.

Seek hard, look deep.

I hope you find what I have always seen.  What I continue to see despite the veils that are unraveling.

You, too, are light.  I miss its presence in my life.

I don't know how to let us go.  In a bizarre way, you are helping me do just that.

There will be a day when I will no longer long for you back in my life.  It makes me so sad to be on that road of detachment from you. 

So before I stop looking back, please know, I only want joy for you.  That is the love I hope to carry with me as the rest begins to fade.  That is the love that knows no history or future.

My heart cheers for you.  Carry onward, my sweet husband. 

I hope you find what you are looking for.  Sincerely, I wish you a safe & healthy journey.

You will be missed.

love,

Your wife (of former years)

 

---

I regret publishing my previous post.  While my feelings were valid and true, I think I need a different venue for angry words such as those.  So I'd thought I'd share the other side of my emotions because they are written from the heart and not from a need for the world to know just how much he is hurting me.  I can be more respectful; regardless of how angry/hurt I feel at times.

To new beginnings...

And hired..., originally uploaded by liza-bean.

I am a photographer. There, I said it. :)

Strength

Reflection 3.7.09, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

There is a power surging within me,
I have dreams of laughter and freedom
just being
me.

I am caring,
I am kind,
I am sensitive,

I am
strong.

The thing is (You're one!!)...

He's one!, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

The thing is I adore the way you gently pet the kitty,
the way you waddle around and pivot like the toddler you've become,
the way you clap your hands,
the way you announce, "hot" with suprising accuracy,
the way you bounce up and down when I pick you up from daycare,
the way you explore with forever more curiosity,
the way you find joy in "helping" with laundry,
the way you dance to the music of life,
the way you smile,
the way you cry,
the way you love,
the thing is, my dear son, I just adore you.

I love you, my Liam. Thank you for the honor of choosing me as your mother. Forever my light, sweet boy of mine.