Lizabean

He is gone, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

From my break-up music

Reflection 1.24.09, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

The little cracks they escalated
And before you know it is too late
For making circles and telling lies

You're moving too fast for me
And I can't keep up with you
Maybe if you'd slowed down for me
I could see you're only telling
Lies, lies, lies
Breaking us down with your
Lies, lies, lies
When will you learn

So plant the thought and watch it grow
Wind it up and let it go

-Glen Hansard

The thing is (11 months old)*...

Smoosh!, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

The thing is I adore the way you wave "bye,bye",
the way your curiousity gets the better of you
and you find yourself stuck under chairs, benches, etc.,
the way you use a chair as your very own personal walker,
the way you say "da! (dog)" the moment I put your coat on to go outside,
the way you stumble with excitement after taking 1, 2, 3! steps,
the way you have started to fall asleep just from my singing,
the way you ask to nurse.."nananananana"...,
the way you say my name.."eye-zuh" (you silly goose!),
the thing is,
I just adore you.
* I'm a couple of days early :)

Life's mysterious horizon

Reflection 1.10.09, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

I grieve the absence of your presence in this moment and all the moments to come. I grieve the absence of the dreams we shared ever coming to fruition. I grieve the absence of my presence in your heart and life. I grieve "what could have been".

I am letting go. Letting go of a beautiful friendship, however flawed some moments/patterns were. Letting go of a sacred connection and focusing my energy on the important work of healing and forgiveness.

I detach myself from our relationship and our tender memories, for there is the present to attend to.

My heart must release it's tenuous, one-sided hold; that stream of binding light must be lengthened and given slack in order for my spirit to soar.

I let the tears roll, cleansing my face of tainted perceptions.

I accept where we are and let go of the future.

I wish us growth, I wish us calm, I wish us peace.

I am letting go...

The thing is..(10 months old)

10 months, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

The thing is I adore the way you shake your head,
(..to tell me no peas, no juice, no grapes, no no momma!),
the way you wag your legs while you crawl because let's face it: those are some Hercules-strength arms you've got there,
the way you remember to pat faces gently...a lot of the time,
the way you rest your head on my shoulder,
the way your face lights up when I reenter a room,
the way you laugh alongside your cousins,
the thing is, I just adore you my son.

I just adore you, our Liam-Biam.